Games: 8. Won: 1. Drawn: 2. Lost: 5.
That was Alan Shearer’s management record for Newcastle United during the 2008/09 season, in which they were relegated.
This, reader, is the person who is being mooted as a potential saviour of English football.
If you think Shearer’s the man for the job, you’re even more deluded than the average England fan.